"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." - Revelation 21:4
"But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children..." - Psalm 103:17
Hello,
Back in Easter of 2014, I had recently returned to Facebook knowing that things were changing and revolutionizing in so many ways. Not to mention the fact that things were rising as fast as the stock market. I headed into Easter back in April feeling really renewed with a sense that hey, things were going alright. I had a new job coming my way and was back in action. Things seemed to be getting so much better for Nansy as Joanna even said: "She may be dancing into her 90th birthday" which made her really proud and happy.
But then word came that her health was in a rapid decline and it got me to thinking about what was going to happen next. I was really worried because it looked as though that the family functions were over with and so on and so forth. Joanna even thought so too. Despite which, the family never wavered even in the darkest hour. All I saw was strength and courage. I made it a front to not go to her home while the family was facing off with the uncertainties and certainties because I wholeheartedly believed that the family just needed some space and accordingly, I stayed back while this was going on.
Then word came at 4:25am on Thursday, June 12, that she died peacefully. I remember what she last said to me: "Josh, we love you." It brought a smile to my face and it told me to go visit my grandparents even more (which I will definitely do down the road).
On Friday, June 13, I hopped into my car, kept the radio off like I usually do, and went to the funeral home and I already knew ahead of time that it was a closed casket viewing. I arrived at the funeral home and the viewing hall was packed. I was warmly greeted by the Maggio family and welcomed by Joanna and her boss, Benton. I basically said to myself: "this is quite the family spirit." When I saw Nansy's casket and the wonderful arrangement of flowers, I decided to stop over and say a prayer for her. I stopped myself and made a small address while there was no one else around me:
"Nans, I may have known you for only 10 months, but you left a profound, cataclysmic, and potentially revolutionary effect on me. You are with your husband now and my friend, the big dude upstairs... you reminded me how important the family spirit is and how despite all the dark days, your family stuck together, and I'm impressed mightily. It taught me to love my family even more and keep them even closer. Thank you." I walked away and started talking with everyone else. Rob, Chris, and I were basically talking about stuff unrelated to the viewing but we knew in the back of our minds, she was going to be sorely missed.
We later went to Matthew's 1600 where I made my "family spirit" toast. Where I put my nerves on the line and basically told everyone: "She taught me a lot of things in just a span of 10 months..." Trust me, I'm pretty drawn out and very quiet, but Joanna's Uncle Jimmy I can deeply say: he talked me into it. I left knowing that tomorrow was going to go to extremes in terms of difficulty.
On Saturday, June 14, I went to her funeral. I got to Joanna's house and Joanna's mom gave me the biggest hug imaginable knowing that I was here to keep Joanna comforted. We arrived at the church ready to deal with the last part of the funeral. Now, I had never been to a catholic funeral ever and this was also going to be my first funeral processional as well.
Emma did an amazing job with her voice and also stayed strong throughout the service. Just seeing that made me stop time for a moment and think: The family has a force field of strength. It's not a lion's strength... It's a complete force field...
As the service continued, I started to well up during the first song knowing this:
1. I've made some major failures of not seeing my grandparents as often as I really should.
2. Being there for someone 110%
3. It's about time I start keeping my own Family Spirit alive and well
4. Obtaining acceptance
As they went into the peace... it was a bit extended due to the act they had a lot of family because typically a peace lasts under 19 seconds (as I've calculated). This one went on for about 31 seconds. I shook a few hands and they proceeded to do communion.
Then came the hardest part when Pat delivered a prayer (Nansy didn't want a eulogy) I remember what Pat said at the end...
"We'll miss you mom... Say hi to Dad for us..."
And right there, the whole church was filled with tears and sounds of sniffs. The way he said it basically would've made anyone cry. Even I was upset too.
As we prepared to leave, I left the church with Joanna just really upset at how this all came to a just a devastating end. I gave Mike and Nick really large hugs, told Father Joe and the Deacon that they did extremely well with the service. Joanna and I went to my car ready for the funeral processional and I sat my car really upset.
We proceeded to the gravesite where the final prayers were said and I left a rose at her casket saying: "Miss Audrey, I made my promise while I was at the funeral home... I'm not going to break it... You be cool now."
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At Matthew's 1600, I kindly asked Mrs. Frazier if I could make a speech denoting how Nansy made that effect to teach me to love my family more and more. Sure enough I did... Despite the fact it seemed like an address that embarrassed Joanna some but... I wasn't going to tell lies... On that August 18th day during breakfast with her aunts and uncles... Pat told me that I had her laughing and enjoying her life again. Part of me was proud but another part was confused.
I made an address to the family basically establishing that even though one person is gone, the family spirit never dies and that I feel like an accepted member of the family now. I personally hate myself for even speaking but... making that address made me realize something... I'm good at this stuff... I actually made people laugh... Something I fail to do a lot...
Guess what... that address will go down in history as one of the most electrifying and historic speeches I've ever made. It kind of mortified her dad but... I think he understood completely.
The Maggios, Brodericks, and Fraziers... they were all proud. I, myself? I said that I really needed to take my own medicine and advice.
That's what Nansy taught me. It's about time I started doing that: Strengthen the family spirit.
