Tuesday, August 16, 2022

Here's my life as I learned, remember, know, and continue it.

"Everyone wonders where creative people get their inspiration from. I found out... it's all around you."
- Roseanne Barr

Many people ask me where my creativity comes from... well I am still trying to figure that out myself. I think it all comes from my mother. Each of us has creativity traits derived from parents or siblings. I decided to write something about where my creativity comes from and tell you everything that I know and remember.

Creativity comes in many forms... independent thought... the people you are with... paint thrown on a canvas for no reason... food you prepare... just looking at someone... walking out the door... smelling the air... siblings who just want to get you in trouble for every nitpicky thing... everything has an inspiration somewhere.

But now that I am older and I haven't written in this thing for so long, maybe it's time for me to get back into the habit of doing this... but at the same time, making a "husband handbook." I think it's time to draw that inspiration and talk about me...

Yes, I am different but isn't everyone? This is what I've learned while I've lived on this planet. I've made friends, lost friends, seen friends pass on, family members leave us, and going to funerals of friends you knew for a short time but became close because of something you did for them.

This is me. Here's my life.

From Pre-school to Pre-Kindergarten, the 2 on, 3 off, 3 on, 2 off thing was interesting. I always played with the number and letter blocks. I also was doing numbers that someone shouldn't even be saying until they're what? 7? I remember always being ahead of kids in reading. I got in trouble one day for mixing paints. I remember those little events with my pre-school/pre-kindergarten teacher and aide when we would hop into vans and watch these little fun events and plays. I can still remember them to this day because I feel like my brain is on fast forward. I remember snack time... Why I hated going to Good Friday Services and hearing the slam of the book... I remember the school picnics at the end of the year too... I remember when we'd go to the playground just down the road on Edmondson to hold our picnics.

Then we moved to Baltimore Highlands. Sitting in my uncle's very old white truck... Seeing that ugly insect on a piece of wood... Watching a house become a home...

In Kindergarten, I remember the days when my mom would set down my sandwich and drink in front of me while watching The Price is Right before my bus came to take me to Baltimore Highlands Elementary School in Kindergarten. I was also reminded of: "Put on your marshmallow shoes and zip your lips." I remember when my father would always walk up to my teacher and say: "How was he today." Mrs. Rudie would give a: "Ummm" answer... I don't know what my final score was... 73 wins to 107 losses probably?

I remember I prolonged conversation when Mrs. Rudie pulled my dad in to talk with him. Now was I trouble... I don't know... Here's what I learned: A second grade teacher named Mrs. Saverese came into the room and said: "Mr. Leuschner, your child is way ahead of all the kids." It was about 10 minutes long and my dad came out, tossed me in the car and said: "When did you learn how to read so quickly?"

There's the truth: Mrs. Saverese would pull me out of "work time" and take me in for reading... I was already reading chapter novels before everyone made complete sentences. I remember the first book I read to Mrs. Saverese... It was a book about fish. Our last session together (we had about 12 of them), Mrs. Saverese said to my dad: "He's reading at a college level. I think he has the ability to become a fantastic writer." I won't forget my dad's reaction when he looked at me. He nodded his head and said: "That's amazing work, Josh."

I also remember the trip to the farm with the 2 kindergartens combined and there was this one girl named Jessica who kept hitting on me. Girl, I'm 5 years old!!!! Go away. She liked me but I did not reciprocate those feelings. I didn't return to B.H.E.S. because it was time to go back to St. Paul.

My first grade teacher, Mrs. Robinson was someone really special. She cared about her flock. She also despised those times when we had to do memory because no one really studied all that much. We're first graders and our minds are still developing. You really think we're going to remember that? We learned the ten commandments, bible verses, and so on. I also remember the day we got "Highlights" and I never got the chance to read "Buddy Bear." I also remember being star 13 and Gabby Hadder constantly having illnesses. My best friend was Dianna Maurer. Here's something else: I wasn't winning at growing up. I never won that.

Mrs. Robinson was probably the best teacher I had because she never wanted to see anyone fail. Never. But another thing was that I was in a group of 3 kids who were ahead of the curb in reading. Mrs. Lilley...? Said I was incredibly far ahead of the tripartite which consisted of myself, Corinda, and Jenny.

My mind developed pretty fast, now didn't it.

Leaps and bounds came from 2nd and 3rd grade but my annus horribilis came in 4th grade.

Now cue the Northern Exposure theme... my 5th grade teacher was a fish out of water from Westchester, New York (Must've just gotten her Masters) by the name of Miss Amy Philbrick. I won't forget what Mrs. Karin said: "Norm hired her." One thing she was well known for was her courteousness and steadfastness. I remember a time when she put up a Venn diagram between her and her sister, Adele. I will not forget that. Adele was apparently the chatty one, Amy was the quiet one. Adele was the sports freak, Amy was the brainy one. I raised my hand and said: Ok, so what do you both have in common? I won't forget what Ms. Philbrick said: "We're there for each other when it's time to up the other up, which is what some of you need to do." Yeah, I won't forget the "homework strike" either because we were fed up with the excessive amount of homework we were getting... But yes, it was 5th grade, you were prepping for the next league, which was middle school.

I also remember the Friday nights when we would all go down to the school to pick up my mother and then head out to eat. How kids would be so excited to see my dad.

--

But I want to put a pause on the past and look at the present.

--

When I look at where my creativity, musings, and so on come together... I think about the person and persons who have had the most influence and inspiration.

Let's begin with my mother. My mother taught me everything I needed to know about life through discipline, child care, cooking, and her? Just being my mom. I remember it all began with my first day at a new school when I decided to go to Baltimore Highlands for Kindergarten. She set a cheese sandwich cut diagonally right in front of me and had the television on for me to watch "The Price is Right." She looked at me and said, I know this is going to be different for you but... let's make it work ok?

I agreed with her sentiments, but I didn't agree with what I was doing.

I learned a lot about child care from my mom as she took care of so many kids while she was enrichment director. I also understood that her job was demanding and when the lights went out, that meant: "Ok, everyone sit down, shut up, momma bear's about to talk." But that was the way she did things. Flash forward and learning later that so many kids cited my mom as a huge influence to where they are today. Whenever mom started with: "Ok, everyone, listen up..." That meant someone did something that they shouldn't have.

Mom knew how to drive the point home and it worked so well.

My mom taught all three of us how to cook and clean except it seemed to be my mom doing all the cleaning... Well I woke up one day and I started fending for myself more. Doing my own shopping, taking $100 with me to the grocery store for stuff I wanted. Cleaning my own room and keeping it clean. I took that with me into the future into my own home too. I don't think I like messes anymore thanks to my mom's know-how and direction. I'm trying my best to develop concepts and so on. I get 25% of my creativity from my mother, I'd say. I think I even developed my mom's penmanship because I sure as hell didn't get it from my dad. I'd always say to my mom: "That's my sports signature." Another piece was singing. My mom was a fantastic singer for the choir and definitely had a love for Handel's Messiah and still does.

Who wouldn't cite my mom as a good influence?

Let me turn to my father. My father wasn't an outdoorsy kind of guy who wanted to go hunting and fishing. He prefers video games, shoot 'em ups, good television, and so on. My dad also could cook, clean, do most of the driving to places, and so on. My dad preferred ball games as opposed to going out a fishing rod and sitting on the dock of a river waiting for a bite. I give my dad the credit for driving home my love of sports and numbers. I remember a time when we went somewhere (Now I don't remember where but my dad was watching a football game and taking notes) and we watched the Los Angeles Raiders play against the Oilers. I also remember the sesame street tapes too... Hmmm... Where in God's name did we go?

My dad took me to cub scouts... where I learned about the bond between father and son. My dad was an adult leader. He also did a lot of ironing work and stuff for the uniforms too.

I also remember the time I had the flu and we had the winter jamboree... Even though I was running at only 40%, dad praised me for getting through it with a lot of poise, especially in the snowshoe competition where we finished with the fastest time and broke the winter jamboree record. I also helped put flags on the graves of those who died in wars. I met zero new cub scouts while I was there. But then again, my mom loved her men in uniform (Matt, myself, and dad).

My dad also indicated to my mother that I was not handy and that's a true point. I can't fix things. I don't know how to fix a car, work a power saw... nothing.

--

When I started writing short novellas and stories to pass the time, I ultimately give the creativity portion to everyone I've known over my time here on Earth. Funny thing is that when you think about it: Nothing ever truly makes sense. You got to make sense of it yourself to give yourself that sense of thought.

Yes, Creativity comes from those around you and it's all around you.

I've also learned that over time, you lose friends, the space in your life becomes emptier, life becomes busier, there's not enough time for you any more, but life continues on even without someone in it. I learned this well in 2017 when I lost 3 family members and 2 friends.

Another thing that I am learning is that work is just that... work. From 2006 to now, I'm there to make money and not make friends. I've personally had it with being nice to people only to find out they are scumbags. I've done given up on trying to be cool with co-workers but... I am at the point where it's fruitless.

Again, taking that creativity I found and putting it into writing. I would love to take what I have in mind and make a "Healthy, Handy Husband Handbook." A small pamphlet on how to be a good husband and do the right things because men cooking and cleaning is very masculine and shows that they can do these things too provided you have the right influences in life.

--

Well, this is my life how I learned, remember, know, and continue it... Nothing's making sense any more, but that's the way I want it right now.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

10/21: Wiped Out in Walkersville



Hello,

Recent events have left me wondering why 2017 has been so utterly devastating to me, my family, and beyond. Those recent events have basically made me feel like I've gone 15 rounds with Muhammad Ali... I'm still wondering how I get up from all of it?

I got up in the morning and I took the four stooges: Courtney (Moe), Becca (Curly), Chelsea (Shemp), and Joanna (Larry). I was waiting for Courtney to do some eye pokes and some: "Shuddaps..." But nah, they were talking about the future of E.D. medicines and talking girl stuff. I went into my little spiel and how I scared off some Jehovah's Witnesses while Joanna got a box of Joe from Dunkin. Then I joined in with: "Oh I love it when you girls do your estrogen humor, heh heh heh heh."

After I took the girls there and got thank yous from the bridesmaids... I took myself to the gym which... I'll tell you, I wasn't impressed with this particular anytime fitness because most of the stuff was outdated.

I got done and left quietly.

After grabbing lunch at the local Sheetz, I went back to the hotel room and that's how I found out about the demise of my grandmother. Time of death wasn't 11:59 as I originally thought, it was 10:57, but the coroner marked it as 12:00 noon.

At that point, I said to myself: What do I do? Do I leave Frederick and just sit there... or do I just stay, put a brave face/smile on, and go to the wedding? I chose the latter.

Catherine Voss was the first one to greet me, now I couldn't remember where I remembered her from but then it hit me. She kept me in line most of the ceremony seeing if I was ok or not because she definitely could feel I was really heartbroken and definitely not well. After the ceremony was over, I went to grab a tonic water and waited for Joanna. She asked me if I was ok, I said: "Jo, I am not ok. I wish I was but I am not."

It was our half-time break and I watched the bride and the bridesmaids take pictures along with the groom as well... I saw John's sister Lacey and gave her a really huge hug and told her she looked great. I met her boyfriend who accidentally called me his own name... I said: Tim, I've been called lots of things... but that took the cake. Lacey looked at me and said: "Just hang in there ok?" I said: "I am doing just that."

As the night wore on, I took a minute and hit pause on everything... you know... just put everything on stop. I took one good look at my surroundings and said: I'm lucky to be here... I don't feel like I earned it, but I did....

Darkness fell... Courtney's friend Becca and I had a talk while we took a break from the festivities and her sister as well. She flashed me a smile and told me how she felt when her grandparents died too. She said: "Josh, you are doing a great job... A really great job keeping a smile on your face through all this... you've had a rough go."

I went back to the reception... had a few more club sodas, danced with Joanna and Chelsea. Chelsea said: "Josh, Joanna picked an amazing guy who's her husband..." I said: "What husband? Where husband?" Trying to joke. She said: "You!"

Hard to crack jokes... Hard to do a lot of things...When you are crying on the inside knowing that a lot of the stuff from your childhood are pretty much over with.

Courtney was worried and thinking I wasn't going to have an easy go at the table. But I did alright, everyone had a bunch of laughs from me... I think we probably had one of the best tables there... Gavin and I had a lot of laughs... He said: Dude, you're alright! I didn't get to talk to Ashley and her friend that much but... I managed to say hi and talk to her.

I tried to have fun... but to me, it felt like I was putting on an act, and seemingly, I was.

I succeeded and many people understood.

--

Personally for me, losing mom-mom was about as damaging as it got. There will be no more Friday night pizza nights... no Christmases at her home... no nothing... it's all over... Death comes with life and that's the territory.

--

Becca, The Voss Twins, Mallory, Chelsea, Lacey, and Emily definitely get my weekend warrior medals. Good words helped me through... the hugs.. everything...

Courtney and John, thanks for understanding that while yes, I was extremely happy for you both, I was really wrecked inside and I didn't know what to do with myself. I'm really grateful to the both of you for inviting me to the wedding and thankfully, I got through it without shedding a tear.

--

Knowing what I know now, the hard part is over with... Now I am just ready to go on with life... knowing that my mom-mom is there in spirit... she's up there with pop-pop having a good time and probably starting arguments again. God will probably say: "Hey Hey Hey! Not in this house!"

--

We got more to come... Nashville, Another Wedding, the Holidays will be upon us, and then 2018. But for now, let's kind of slow down and take it easy.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

We will miss you, Pop Pop

Dear Pop Pop,

I knew you for 30 years and in those 30 years, you've seen grow up from little tike, to high school graduate, to Federal Worker. I remember the days that we'd always come over for Christmas and enjoy getting together for food, laughter, and watching a special or two on television. I've been missing those days a lot.

Pop Pop, when I was little and was interested in meteorology, well you always got mad when I turned on the weather channel...

I remember the days you bought stuff for us... just because you wanted to see us smile

I remember the days you bought shoes... just because.

I remember the day you took us all to see a movie... just because you wanted to see us smile

I remember the day you took me to Ruby Tuesday at Marley Station and took me for a walk around the mall... just because you wanted to have a little time with your grandson...

I remember the days when you and mom mom would argue and the three of us would just laugh our butts off because the argument was so stupid... then you'd say: "WHAT ARE YOU THREE LAUGHING AT!?"

I remember when you helped me build my school project...

I remember those days we came and visited to just... sit and talk...

I remember the days we came over for Friday night Pizza from Rocco's...

But I want you to remember me the way you want me to remember you...

This big tall man who used quips like: "What do you want, a fat lip?"

When I found out you were getting sick... and... mom told us all... it was sad to see that your mind was wasting away due to this deadly disease.

I remember the day I had to watch you when you were going through the beginning stages of your dementia and you were asking me who was playing during the college football game. I said: Eastern Tennessee State University and Fordham. You said: Fordham, they don't call them the Rams for nothing.

I said: That's right, you remembered.

As I continued to watch the football game, you dozed off, and mom came back saying: "He ok?"

I said: "Mom, He at least remembered who Fordham was."

I remember when my wedding came around and you guys couldn't come because you both weren't doing well. I was upset and I knew you guys wanted to see your last grandson officially take on the ultimate step of being a man, which is marriage. You guys took to Joanna very well. You looked at all the pictures and said: Who are they? Who is this? Is that you?

In my head, I knew you were getting worse.

2017 has been a very unforgiving year for me but also our family. While there has been excitement when it comes to travel and seeing some of the great places around the nation, it has been tough to be excited about it with you having been ill and not functioning well. I think my in-laws and wife's family understand that all of us did still have tight bond.

I only wish I could've said good the right way... unfortunately, I wasn't able to. I'm really sorry.

Now that you are up with God in heaven, I hope you're not badgering him with all these questions... but I know you probably are. :). I just want you to remember us the way we remember you.

I'm sure you're probably saying: "Hey God, take a look for a minute, those are my grandchildren down there, One's a successful contractor, the other's a chef, and the youngest is keeping us safe."

God probably said: "I see them all the time, they're going to do good things in life."

I hope you are at peace.

Saturday, November 12, 2016

US Election 2016: Enough... Ok? Enough.


Hello,

This is my first post in a long time and If you have a problem with my post, you can go ahead and defriend me on facebook, like that really SOLVES anything... You understand that degrades democracy and free thinking? Do you guys understand FREE SPEECH? It's a first amendment right.

Let me begin.

I will gladly admit that I was on the fence for Trump in the beginning but when I saw the videos of inspiration, hope, and him bringing in huge rallies of 40 to 60k, I saw a man who was reaching out to the forgotten voters, union workers (steel and coal specifically), and seeing that he just could not be bought. I saw a man who was speaking about America and how it's great to be AN AMERICAN. I said: "Wait, he's not running as a democrat or a republican... He's running as a full-fledged red-blooded patriotic AMERICAN!" He was also being politically incorrect and I loved it. I watched his NRA speech and that's when I said: Hey, you got my vote, you earned it!

In the start of October, the media was giving a 90-95% chance of Hillary taking home the election and we would've had our first woman president and personally, had she won, I would've taken her election in good graces and say: Hey, I am being a fair sport. But again I wasn't buying what the media was saying at all. I don't believe the polls because they oversample certain groups (mainly democrats).

My wife and I voted and we were going to stay up to watch the results but we decided against it and just went to bed. It probably was going to be far too late.

On Tuesday Night around 9:39pm, I took my bed with my wife after checking the election box score, which was 129-97 at the time for Trump. I told my wife what was going on and she was shocked because she believed that Hillary would've been really far ahead at this point in time. I said to myself: "Trump's going to win this thing. I don't think we're seeing madam president tonight... no way. Something's up." Even my wife agreed and we went to bed.

I went to bed quietly until 3:25 came about "Five minutes later" and I said to myself: "Do I check the election or no?" If Hillary won, ok, then, we move on with life... If Trump won, ok, awesome, I picked another winner, and we move on with life. I was going to be tending to my yard and getting up the waste anyway.

I look at the results and say: "Wow... Trump not only beat her...! He gave her an asswhupping!" Minnesota, Michigan, and New Hampshire were still not decided (eventually they were)

So folks, I woke up because God gave me another day and said: Make your day spectacular, Josh! Go to work and I'll protect you along the way when you are behind the wheel.

I nodded my head in agreement, grabbed my lunch, and headed out. Went upstairs, talked about the election and most of my fellow cohorts were Trump supporters.

There was very little, if any election talk at work. We all moved on with our lives... Going on living and working.

---

So that end, let me just tell the little whinos, cry babies, and people who need their blankie because Clinton lost: ENOUGH... GET THE HELL OVER IT... ITS OVER WITH!

You all need to move on and take the result. We survived 8 years of Obama and I am sure we will survive 4 years of Trump. It is not a big deal. Trump doesn't really run the country... He's the figurehead of the country and is supposed to make America's brand look good to other nations. So knock it off!

---

Why did Trump win?

What I saw and deciphered was that this is was a staunch, stern, and absolute rebuke of the political establishment set in the United States of America... And by that I mean politicians that are only out for their own good and can be bought by corporations, the media, and vice versa. Trump on the other hand, COULDN'T BE BOUGHT, he was basically throwing the gauntlet down to the establishment and saying: I'm going for the voice of America that is absolutely silent.

Trump had huge rallies. HUGE. Clinton couldn't draw a crowd... KAINE COULDN'T EVEN DRAW A CROWD. Right there, I saw a massive oddity.

I saw videos of "the forgotten" who said they were voting for Trump.

Trump won because of the forgotten voter and they came out. The forgotten voter leveled a heavy hand on Liberal CEOs, Hollywood Elite, and the establishment and said: You don't speak for me! We tell the government what to do.

Trump won probably a good 2800 counties out of the 3143 counties in the USA

---

Why did Clinton lose?

Very simple. She forgot the forgotten voter and was being a sellout. She didn't win women AT ALL... She forgot the women who were stay at home mothers. Also working but non-college educated women. She also lost to independents as well!

She primarily won in urban-centric areas, not small rural areas... That's where she lost. This is why we have the electoral college. There's support and criticism... but the electoral college does prevent urban-centric victories.

---

To you anti-Trump protesters?

Can you guys just get on with your damn lives...? When 9/11 happened, there was no free pizza, cocoa, or teddy bears the next day... there was teaching and learning. Yes we were scared but no one was giving us anything. Get off the streets, stop burning the flag, stop acting like you are owed something, stop destroying stuff, stop acting like animals, and MOVE ON!

YOU GO ON LIVING!

---

And to the Trump supporters?

Don't be sore winners. Just go on with life.

---

Thank you. My rant is over.

Sunday, March 27, 2016

Opening Statement: Miracles on Easter


Hello,

Jesus rising from the dead is in itself one of the greatest miracles in history. We also know there are a lot of other miracles as well. None will reach the utmost pinnacle of what Jesus did on that Easter morning so bright. Some atheists have also seen Easter miracles and have turned to God as he spoke to them in their human status, and done more to help their community.

1997: In Canada, a 11-year old girl was involved in a very harsh car accident where she went through the window and hit the pavement. She was taken to the hospital and doctors gave her very little chance to live. Her parents were prepped to remove her from life support and they left the room to go get the documents to do so. As they left, her mom heard a voice that said: No, don't do it, she's going to live. She's going to live. She still has much to do on this Earth.

She tugged at her husband and said: "We can't do it, we just can't." Her husband, knowing his daughter was going to die, "We have to. We can't let our child suffer so."

A nurse came rushing down to where the parents were and said: "COME COME COME! YOU GOT TO SEE THIS!"

As they rushed down the hall, the mom started to tear up, and they came into the room, only to find their daughter up in bed, smiling, and wanting something to eat because she was hungry. The doctors had absolutely no explanation for what happened. All of her wounds were healed, the bleeding stopped, everything was healed.

Her mom knelt and said: "Did someone visit you?"

She said: "Yes, God visited me and said I have much to do in this world. It's time for me to do that."

The girl, now 30, speaks about her harrowing ordeal and also arranges mission trips for a non-profit organization for which she is the treasurer.

---

2004: Reno. A staunch 16-year old atheist boy was stricken with pneumonia after contracting a sexually transmitted disease. They were not sure of his survival. A priest came in and the boy wanted him out. He looked at the boy and said: "Why?" The boy said: "You're a priest! I don't believe in God!" The priest said: "That's a shame, God has done great miracles for believers in him." The boy looked at him: "Yeah? Well why did he have to take my father!?"

The priest looked at him and said: "He died fighting for his country which is one of the most noble things a man can do. But you are going to blame God for his death? He sacrificed his life for yours, just like Jesus did to free you from sin."

The boy looked at him and said: "How did you know my father was in the army?"

The priest said: "We know everything. We live in a place where there is no pain, suffering..." He took out a bible and said: "Keep this..."

The boy, initially resistant, took the bible, started to weep, and say: "Who are you?"

The priest said: "Someone who cares about life. Which you should too. I've seen what you've done with your gang. I remember everything you've done and it is time for you to get away from that group."

The priest walked out and the boy yelled: "I never got your name!"

The priest said: "You'll know soon enough but now's not the time. Your new found faith will heal you. That's a promise that will be kept."

The priest walked out and the boy began to read the bible. As he got to the Gospel of Matthew's narrative of the Crucifixion of Jesus. He began to cry knowing that Jesus undertook the sins of the world. He quietly put the bible down on the desk, folded his hands, and told God to take away the pain. He was sorry for the things he did, the people he bullied, the girl he raped, and that he didn't deserve to live.

The hospital saw that his STD was gone, his pneumoia was gone, and he was a new person. The boy asked about the priest who came to his room. The orderly said: "We've never had a person like that here."

Two weeks later, the boy was back in school, turning a new leaf, starting a bible club and taught God's word to everyone who came to his club.

Now, he's a junior pastor in Clark County, Nevada.

---

Just a few examples of how God has made miracles. On this Easter, remember that if you are reading this message, you have a life, and you should be very blessed to have it.

Have a great Easter everyone... He is RISEN! He is RISEN indeed! Alleluia!

Monday, February 22, 2016

What I learned from 1/17: My mom and the 90%

Prelude: My mom was an Enrichment Director for 12 years from 1988-2000 and bearing witness to it as a student at St. Paul Lutheran and having to stay with her? Well, I knew that I had a mom that could turn kids into the best that they could be.

Hello,

After some thinking, I made a journey back to my old roots on 1/17 as part of "Goodwill" peace process. I was back there in 2013 for an advent talk. I was warmly welcomed back but kind of overstayed my welcome...

When I mean my old roots, I mean St. Paul Lutheran Day School and Church. It was a way to put my hand out and say, "hey, no hard feelings." It was a joy to be welcomed back by so many people despite my thoughts I was going to be ill-received. It was excellent to see that I was welcomed with open arms. Dressed in my golf shirt and pants, I looked around.

Mr. Giguere along with his wife, they were surprised at my return. He was the principal who had governed a lot of students during his time. He was the prime authority figure at St. Paul. I told him about my family and how everything's going. Mr. Giguere told me what a great person I turned out to be and how I definitely became my mother's son. I stated that my mom and dad raised me to know right from wrong.

He also went on to ask me what I was doing with myself nowadays. I told him that I was working in Washington D.C. in the statistics department. He said: "You must be making good money." I said: "It's not $100k a year, but it's good enough." He asked me about the family and I told them that everything was going just fine with everyone. Kira had 2 kids, Matt was working very hard towards his college degree, and Dad and Mom were working and having a blast traveling. One of my dad's old usher friends said: "You know, get your parents to come back, I miss your father! He was the best! I miss talking about golf, computers..." I said: "I'll try." I think they wanted them back...

Pastor Schafer was astounded that I returned. I also believe that he thought there was going to be vitriol and shame for me returning but he said: "Josh, welcome back sir. Everyone is always welcomed in God's house." I said: "God must have a lot of houses, Mr. Schafer. I want to find out what he drives." Earning me a chuckle from him. He said: "It's been 16 years since you've been here, but you know you guys are always welcomed back."

Mr. Dungey, who was a-ok with us, said: "Josh! Of all people!" I said: "Mr. Kevin, how are you doing." He was impressed with how I seemed to be doing working for DC and getting married to my wife... who was working on this Sunday. Mr. Dungey was very pleased to see me but wondered where everyone else was. I said: Working, working, anddddddddddddddd working."

Before the service, I looked around and took 20 seconds to eye my surroundings. First of all, I saw Elizabeth Middleton, an old Sunday School student we knew... Pastor Schafer's wife along with Alicia and others... Familiar faces... No real sign of anyone else here.

I quietly took my seat and said: "Hey God, what am I doing here? Is this a goodwill tour for me? Is this a way to say, hey, make peace? What is it?" I heard the organ and the first thing out of my mouth was: "Yep, out of tune, still sounds the same."

As I attempted to sing the songs from the new hymnals... I thought: I remember the old books, the blue and red books... The TNR-Hardcode font... I said: It's so different now. The bulletin? Different. Everything was on the back. Not the front.

I listened to the sermon in regards to the Wedding at Cana. I said: November 7, 2015... I got married and this is what I wanted as a bible verse. The sermon went on for 12 minutes. At the end, he said: "With God, Anything is possible... Amen..." During the moment of silence, it felt like eternity, and during that time, I heard Jesus say:  "Josh, you came back here, now what are you doing here? Are you here for giggles? Did you not want to sing the song at your church? What...? Why are you here?" I said in my head: "I feel like it was my duty to come back and bring the peace. Isn't that what I am supposed to do?"

The prayers were completed and Pastor Schafer said "Are there any guests?"

I raised my hand because technically, despite my non-active membership, I was a guest. I said: "This is my first service here in 16 years..." and I almost wanted to stop myself but I thought: "Nah, talk." After I finished, I sat down, scared.

And there was a nice warm reception from the congregation. Biz? Gave me a: "I know that guy" look...

I looked at our family's spot at the doors of the church. After the song was over, I said: "My family sat in that spot for many many years... Thanks for keeping it warm for us." The woman said: "Oh you're welcome. How come you haven't been back here?" I said: "I don't know. Just a long story that has many chapters. But I decided to make my way back. I'm old enough to make my own decisions."

So afterwards, I went up to the pastor's wife who gave me a big hug and I congratulated her for beating cancer. I said: "You really whupped cancer's rear end now didn't you." I told her what was up and she took a picture of myself and her daughter Alicia. She was impressed with everything and she said: "Please come back." I said: "I can't really be a member of 2 churches, but I'll be back here in the summer maybe if you guys get a Sunday School opening." I really did want to start reaching out to high schoolers more. So a Sunday School job would be nice while Chorus is out and I can talk to middle and high schoolers.

As I left the sanctuary, I took a look at the old place... the old buildings... the loft... everything... lots of changes made... Then I went downstairs to where the bible study was being held. It wasn't started yet.

To get to the meat and potatoes of this entry...

I saw Mr. G, walked over,  and I said: "So Mr. G, everything going ok here?" Despite his hard and difficult speech, he said: "I wish it was." He took me aside and said: "Josh, your family is always welcomed back. But can I give you a nice little statistic about your mom?"

I said: "Sure. I like numbers."

Mr. Giguere sat me down and said: "Josh, your mom was here for many years. You guys were devoted members. In her time here at St. Paul, she took care of about a total 250 different kids in the mornings and afternoons. Well, 90% of those children went on to become college grads. One child who got his master's degree cited your mom as a wonderful influence saying that kicking his butt was the best thing she could've done."

I said: "I take it he was one of the troublemakers?"

He continued with: "Oh yeah, I'm sure your mom remembers him."

I said: "90%? Are you sure?"

He said: "90%. I've stayed in touch with a lot of kids. Your mom was extremely important and an integral part to the community. She had a tough job. Having to work those long hours made her a very big part of our school."

I smiled and said: "That makes me proud that she's my mom and she could do all that. Anything else that I didn't know?"

He said: "Your dad... He was the reason why we had a computer lab. Remember that check for $1,400 I wrote to get computers and you went with him? Well, your dad sure as heck went out and got what we needed. He did a lot of technical work for this school that no one has come close to what he did."

I said: "I remember how much that check was for. It was for $1,316.48. My parents meant a lot, huh?"

He said: "Your parents meant so much to us."

I was pretty content with what he had to say and I closed with: "It was nice seeing everyone, take it easy, and we'll catch you on the flip side."

I looked over at the neighboring houses across the way as I left. I said: "90%... My mom did that... She's an influence."

-----

You see folks, think about that for a minute... 90%... Only 10% of the kids DID NOT go on to have a college degree. Perhaps they are working towards it? We don't know.

My dad? He was a technical person and made that computer lab what it once was. Now its just books and stuff up where the computers were.

My mom worked so well with anyone, never did I ever hear a complaint out of ANYONE from anybody except maybe... the very very select few.

-----

Thank you St. Paul for welcoming me back and personally, I am sure we will see each other in the future. A special thanks to Mr. G for giving me that statistic on my mother. That was something special... Thank you.

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Christmas Eve Sermon: Bearing witness to history

"In the evening we gather together, not as enemies, but as friends and family. This is not a night for tyranny or hatred. But a time of great rejoicing. Hug one another just as Jesus gave us a hug telling us that he would arrive." - Unknown

"And there were in the same country, shepherds keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, an angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them and they were so afraid. And the angel of the Lord said to them: Fear not, for behold I bring you tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; You will find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes laying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and say, Glory to God in the Highest! And on Earth! PEACE, GOODWILL TOWARDS ALL!" - Luke 2

Good Evening,

Tonight is a day of great rejoicing, smiling, happiness, and beyond. Today is not a day to be tearful, fearful, or anything of the such. Luke 2 reminds us not to be afraid this Christmas at all and as we shouldn't be.

Tonight, we will be witnesses to history and the destiny that was written by the power of the bible with teachings of the prophets. Our own history and destiny are written when we do stuff with our families, smile, and take in life. Life is a very powerful thing we take for granted and we don't stop to think how we got here.

Christmas is a time of great joy and birth. It's also a time for renewal.

Renewal means fixing things. Like for instance, fixing our friendships and mending them because we did something terribly wrong. Renewal means, patching things up with significant others. Renewal means taking in family and their importance in our lives.

Tonight, we listen to legendary and wonderful stories of the Messiah who will join us as a baby sent to save the world and not condemn it. Jesus is a living and walking legend and human among us to save the human race for Satanic power, tyranny, and sin.

We are not perfect in any sort of way. I account myself for those people as well as I have done wrong in my life. I made some really big mistakes and also had to face down some of the biggest troubles of my humanity. But I can give a lot of love to the fact that I made some really big changes and took in some new things that happened to me in 2015. God gave me a wonderful wife named Joanna, gave me a home, food to eat, family to laugh with, and beyond.

Christmas is just like Thanksgiving. We are giving thanks for everything that happened this year. At Church, we become the witnesses to history. We see the Glory of the Lord in the highest heaven above. We take a look at how Jesus shaped the landscape for the world and how he wanted it to be.

But this year and for the last 60 years, we can honestly say that Christians are constantly fighting a losing battle.

Recently, in the South, there were damaging storms that caused nearly $840,000,000 in damages, destroying 1850 homes, killing 12 (including 4 children), and injuring nearly 405. 98 Tornadoes dropped yesterday and the Freedom From Religion Foundation called it a "Punishment."

The activist stated: "This is a punishment for praising a non-existent human being."

How cold-hearted could this group get? How much more cold-hearted can we see this group get? It's a total calamity and very wrong. 

Many nativity scenes were removed thanks to these individuals. Christmas has no meaning it seems anymore thanks to the political correctness needed along with respect we should give to other religions.

Christians seem to be the most tolerant of all the religions. Christianity is falling apart at the hands of the power of the 1st amendment which is wrongly interpreted by Freedom From Religion Foundation (FFRF) as "Freedom From Religion" and not "Freedom of Religion." FFRF continues to use the endorsement of Jefferson's "Separation of Church and State" as a way to get the Christian murals of Christ's birth removed.

2015 saw some of the biggest slaps in the face to Christianity:

Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, after 76 years of having the Christmas Star flying in the night sky was forced to take it down thanks to the American Atheists group and also FFRF whom said it was a clear endorsement of the Christian faith... 76 years of staying up there. The Judge said it was a violation of the constitution but the mayor... in an act of defiance said it would stay up but American Atheists and FFRF said they would hit back even harder. The mayor took it down much to the annoyance of the Christian populace in order to appease the non-believers. The FFRF called it: "A crowning achievement." One Christian called it: "A downright shame that we are forced to take down a symbol of a human who was sent to save the world and not condemn it."

Bethlehem, New York was prepared to put up a mural of the nativity but they stopped themselves short after they were given a warning not to do it. The mayor decided against it. Another victory for atheists... and a slap in the face to Christians.

How damaging was this year: Atheist organizations took home more than $750,000,000 in legal fees, attorney costs, and everything from Christian organizations that they took to court. 3,000 nativity scenes were removed... 1500 murals of Jesus Christ were removed...

Christmas just doesn't seem to have a meaning anymore thanks to need for political correctness.

But you know what... Christmas does have a huge meaning! CHRIST! IT IS CHRIST'S BIRTHDAY AND WE SHOULD CELEBRATE.

I ask all Christians to get up, wish people a Merry Christmas, sing as loud as possible, and tell those atheist organizations to back off.

Ladies and gentlemen, let us be witnesses... let us all be witnesses to history tonight... Go to church, sing songs of heavenly joy, partake of the Lord's supper at his table, and bear witness to his miraculous birth.

JESUS WAS NOT SENT HERE TO CONDEMN THE EARTH, BUT TO SAVE IT! HE'S THE ULTIMATE SUPERHERO!

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Advent III: No one should be lonely on Christmas



Good Evening,

Edeka, a supermarket chain in Germany, released a holiday commercial that was extremely heartbreaking in so many ways. The Patriarch of the family seen in this youtube video provided by NEXTAVENUE-PBS: Edeka Holiday Commercial is very lonely for Christmas as his children can't make it because they are busy with their own lives. The father then feigns his death to get his children to come to holiday dinner. The children return home, upset over the death of their beloved father. However, when they enter the home, the house is all decorated for Christmas, and the table is set for dinner... The family is very confused... Then the father just APPEARS out of nowhere and everyone's stunned to see him. Afterwards, the grandchild runs up and hugs her grandfather, and everyone is so happy to see him.

The Christmas is happy and everyone's laughing and having themselves a great time.

---

Does the commercial go far as asked by NextAvenue-PBS?

---

In my opinion, it does not at all. It shows absolute importance of family. Family is the most important part of the Christmas season. Thanksgiving and Christmas are about family and making time for them.

Being lonely at Christmas is a huge heartbreak for anyone. No one should be lonely.

---

Pastor Mark today on his Sunday sermon made some wise remarks about when a person dies, you miss them a lot and no matter how long you yearn for them to come back... they won't... but you still miss them.

Just last year, my now-wife Joanna lost her grandmother Nansy (Audrey Maggio) to cancer. She still misses her every day. Nansy was the matriarch that kept the family together and as the glue, she was the authority figure.

She is still missed today.

---

This commercial shows how many families today aren't stressing the importance of staying together this holiday. We are in a go-go-go world which just keeps going.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are days to thank the Lord for the wonderful gifts bestowed upon us. It's really tragic to see how drastic people will go to get their families together this holiday but it is the truth of how lonely and deprivation is just an absolute killer.

Where it is very tough grieving over a loved one. We know that they are there in spirit. God loves all the children of his kingdom and we receive that "ultimate gift" at Christmastime when Jesus, our savior, comes down from the heavens above to save the world. He was not sent here to condemn it.

---

At Christmas, the joy and honor of being together is just very enlightening. Just to know that there are families out there willing to sacrifice everything and anything to have their families there. Loneliness at Christmas is a definite gut-wrencher, but making time for family is one of the keys to keeping it together.

So do yourselves a favor on Christmas... Christian folks should get dressed up and head to church and enjoy the lovely service prepared by the priests to their congregation. Then come home, have dinner, laugh, talk, drink, and be merry.

Open up gifts, hug your family members and tell them how much you love them. Laugh at breakfast, smile at each other, and praise God for his blessings at Christmas.

---

No one... absolutely no one... should be lonely at Christmas.

Thank you,
Joshua

Saturday, December 12, 2015

Sunday Sermon: Advent and Judgment

Hello,

Peace on Earth and goodwill to all...

Yeah about that...

---

Peace on Earth has been incredibly hard to achieve with the mass shootings and killings all around the world. The U.S.A. has seen a number of mass shootings this year and before. We've seen some of the deadliest mass shootings during the season of Advent. Just this past week, we had the San Bernardino shooting which killed 14 and injured 21... A few years back, it was the Sandy Hook shooting, which took the lives of 24, most of which were children. December has seen some of the worst mass shootings from people with the darkest hearts.

There has to be a better way to fix Peace on Earth and good will towards all. People are buying up guns to protect themselves. The United States Constitution allows for such a move but more activists are lining up saying that the NRA has to be stopped along with several other pro gun organizations. When it becomes clear that a gun is involved in a mass killing, the NRA is the one who is immediately given the finger point. They are a group that teaches gun safety, education, and care.

Once again, judgment... It's them, not the criminal

---

Peach on Earth has been very tough to achieve with the constant war on the holiday. It's gotten to the point where the atheist groups are trying to remove Christmas as a federal holiday.

More nativity scenes have been taken down than any other item during the holiday. You don't hear the news of Menorahs or Stars and Crescents being taken down. FFRF and other atheist organizations leave them alone.

This year, FFRF has managed to wipe out 1,091 Nativity Scenes, stop 548 Christmas Pageants, and 240 Christmas Concerts because they say it sends "a religious message in a public area." Christianity has also seen an amazing drop in church attendance because of these vicious hate groups.

Yet... wait... Menorahs and Muslim items of interest are not being taken down and they are in public areas. Where's the complaints over that... These groups remain silent... they want to attack Christianity and everything that it stands for.

Christians though have managed to win a few battles including a big one in Kentucky where a Christmas Play which had a Christian message that was to go on as scheduled. However, they did not do the play due to undue pressure from many other religions including Satanism and beyond.

---

Christmas is a time of joy, celebration, rejoicing... More and more, we are giving into these groups and the judges are taking up for them.

---

We need to stop with this judgment of everything... How does everything offend everyone nowadays... Christmas trees are now: "Holiday Trees"... Christmas Pageants are now... Holiday Pageants and Bake Sale.

WHY must we take offense to everything!

We have a constitutional right to the FREEDOM OF RELIGION!!!! A constitutional right to BEAR ARMS!

This is a nation where God is no longer welcome. FFRF is sending out billboards that say: "Sleep in on Sundays", "Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is not to go to Church. I'm too old for Fairy Tales."

It's amazing how far America has fallen off of its wagon. Soon, there will be no more Christmas, you can guarantee it.

---

~ Joshua

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Advent II: Christianity Strikes Back

Hello,
Advent's first half comes to an end today as 2015's "Road to Christmas" labors on. With many people still shopping for the many great gifts they will buy for their family members. It's just absolutely amazing how we have forgotten the true meaning of Christmas and it's just not the same anymore.

For starters, Christmas has seen nearly 750 lawsuits against Nativity Scenes, Plays, Concerts, and Festivals. The Freedom From Religion foundation has seen a 94% success rate over the past 5 years of wiping out Christmas displays. It's really sad when we've gone downhill so fast. We've forgotten the true meaning of Christmas. Christmas is not about Santa Claus, Reindeer, and Elves. It is about the birth of Jesus Christ and how he came to save the world and not condemn it. It says in the scriptures: "God did NOT send his son to condemn the world."

To continue, Christianity seems to be fighting back and judges are starting to counter the argument against FFRF. Christianity has actually started to win more cases thanks to the American Center for Law and Justice, the Becket Fund, and the Liberty Institute. One judge proclaimed that a Wichita, Kansas High School Nativity Play could go on as scheduled as he stated to the ACLU and FFRF: "Can't we have a little Peace on Earth without you guys trying to wipe it out?" That right there, I hail as quite possibly the BEST closing to the a lawsuit ever. The judge stated that it was about freedom of religion not freedom from religion. Christianity has been extremely and most tolerant of other religions. We do not condemn other religions as worshiping false prophets.

Christianity has lost many battles over the past 30 years but this year with everyone getting offended over everything right now, Christianity is beginning a huge assault on the shroud of the permanent destruction of Christmas and other religious holidays.

Do you see Christians going after Jewish holidays like Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashanah... or Muslim Holidays? No.

Why hasn't the ACLU, FFRF, and other non religious organizations gone after Jewish and Muslim holidays. They remain completely silent on the issue. If it's not Christianity, they don't go after it. Honestly, what makes them any different? THEY ARE RELIGIONS. FFRF and ACLU dismiss them as "Cultures."

---

In 1999, an anti-Christmas activist in Ohio by the name of Ganulin, brought suit to a court to challenge Christmas as a national holiday, calling it unconstitutional. The courts agreed to hear his case but ultimately, Christmas won thanks to a Dr. Seuss-like poem from Judge Dlott:

The Court with address this seasonal confusion
Erroneously believing Christmas merely a religious institution

Whatever the reason unconstitutional or other
Christmas is not AN ACT OF BIG BROTHER

Christmas is about joy and giving and sharing
It is about the child within us, it is most about caring

One is never jailed for having a tree
For not going to church, for not spreading glee!

The Court will uphold contradictory causes
"826 decreeing the ESTABLISHMENT" and "Santa" both worthwile "Claus(es)"

We are all better for Santa, the Easter Bunny too
and maybe the Great Pumpkin, to name just a few

An extra day off is hardly high treason
It may be spent as you wish, regardless of reason

The Court having read lessons of "Grinch"
REFUSES to play the role of Grinch!

There is room in this country and in all our hearts too
for different convictions and a day off too!

-------

Looking over the brief filed by Ganulin and also the court's intercession. The court NEARLY said ok, you got your wish! But thanks to quick thinking and an almost unanimous vote (The 2 judges resigning later on due to their beliefs)... Christmas was saved.

Is Christianity beginning to fight back. I believe so. FFRF is not winning as many cases as they were some time ago. Christianity is starting to make it's move for the throat saying: "YOU CAN'T ERASE SOMETHING THAT YOU CLAIM DOES NOT EXIST! THAT'S LIKE ROBBING AN EMPTY SAFE!" Christianity has won 50 cases this year but this a very long and hard road ahead.

Whoever that Judge is who said those words above... We thank you.

And to the judge that told FFRF and ACLU to take a hike... We thank you.

Christianity is one of the most tolerant religions out there. We don't pursue lawsuits when Jewish, Hindu, or Muslims want to do something that would potentially offend us. We merely turn the other cheek and just walk away.

Our first half ends today but the Road to Christmas continues on. Let us REJOICE! For the coming of our king.