I made it through work and now it's 12 days of rest...
Well Journal, I went to Brian's bachelor party and I was on the outside looking in.
And I am trying to figure out what was going on between the arguing with Brian's brother Billy about Joe Flacco.... to me not even taking a sip of any alcoholic beverage (much less even ordering one)... to me just leaving right then and there.
Last night, I didn't certainly feel like my old self... You know, the old self that just wants to have a good old time and keep it real with my silliness. But, it seems like my new self wanted to just keep it low tones and that's the way I did for most of the night and I certainly felt out of place.
I have a strict reasoning for not drinking and many of you heard of it. Sure, I mean, there's responsibility but there's also something actuality and reality. I just don't touch the stuff anymore, just like me and coffee, we don't go together. I don't see being drunk as funny and laughable.
I really didn't have much to talk about to anyone. I met Rich, Billy, Eric, Andrew, and some Howie Long look alike last night. Just did my own thing.
To be frank, this was definitely an event for me that told me that I was growing up, my friends were getting married, and life was changing rapidly.
As I gave the tip the waitress and said thank you to her, she smiled and said: Are you the DD? I said: Yes, I'm my own designated driver. I don't touch the stuff.
Brian kind of pleaded for me to have drink and then stay but I declined because bar hopping just wasn't my thing. It really isn't.
I walked outside and I said to myself: "I just don't feel like part of a group anymore. Times are changing and changing fast."
You know, as we grow up further in our lives, times really do change, things really do change. But it does say in Joshua 1:9 - "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
And he has been there for me a lot. He said to me: "Life is changing, you make the best of every situation, you learn to make the right decisions."
I wasn't trying at all to be a grinch that night. As a matter of fact, I wasn't. It just was held on a night when I was just really tired and didn't have the energy to really go do anything plus, compared to them, I was woefully undressed.
I don't own a sweater much less any "really nice apparel"
The Waterfront Hotel. I gave it a 21 on TripAdvisor because the food's good, service is fine, but it's... just too odd of a place. I walked in and I was like: Are you kidding me?
I usually like to rate stuff on tripadvisor and so far I've written almost 250 articles ranging from great to downright venomous.
So as I left and they worked on the bill, I decided to go over to my girlfriend's to talk with her for a few minutes. I drove down 40 and kept my radio off and as I was going down Edmonson Avenue, I noticed that I was going through "The back door" to get to her house and I remembered the day at Brian and I went through that road to take a business meeting (usually to talk about women, sports, cars, or just vent)... I also remember... driving past that road and seeing Joanna's road one year ago coming home from last year's advent service.
Back to the present, I stopped by, and I noticed that Gabe and Tommy were over for a bit. Tommy asked where I was and I said: "A party" and he did what a typical 4-year old does: Ask questions and be silly.
Now I headed downstairs to talk to Joanna, the first words out of my mouth when I sat on the couch were: "I grew up today," and "I was the outsider," I think she understood what I was saying... that was until Tommy started crying about not being allowed down.
Tommy was upset that I came over and "took Joanna away" from him. Now I started to feel bad because it seems more and more I unintentionally rip people away from others. Tommy's emotions settled down when Joanna brought him down and started flipped through the TV channels eventually settling on switching between the Heisman presentation and the Golden Girls.
I just kept thinking about what was next in life for me. What plan did god have in place for me? I know my plan was going to be fine and personally, it was just when and where the shoe was going to drop.
But then I remembered a date: November 9, 2013... When I was readily accepted into the Frazier Family by the look of one picture:
----
Things have definitely changed, I can't say for the better, nor the worse. But things are changing in a lot of ways and I know in the long term, lots more things are going to be changing.
Today, was just a sliver of what's to come. God's prepping me for that future and I know that when the day comes, I'm going to be apart of something much bigger.
~ Joshua
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