Musings of a man with enough mold on the brain to produce a quart of penicillin.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Joshua's Mailbag: A Christmas Miracle
Let's dip into that mailbag... Our letters come from the Virgin Mary. Her and I had a long correspondence with each other.
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Dear Joshua,
Hello, I have a problem, there was this archangel who just had a talk with me about me bearing the Son of God yet I am not betrothed to a man at all. What should I do? I mean, don't you find this really strange? I hear from a lot of your friends that you are solution finder and tops in problems.
Regards,
Mary.
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Hey Mary,
Well thanks. Nah, it's not strange at all. You were picked as the chosen one by the Lord himself. In fact, that's what Gabriel said to you right? The holy spirit shall come upon you and with the Lord, nothing is impossible? Mary, I'm not catholic and I don't follow the Marian devotions, but I know darn well you are the mother of Jesus, who will be born soon. Look, you should just deal with this as the time goes by. Jesus will be preaching the all the worlds once he's born on that holy night. You're ok, nothing to fear! That's what the Angel said right?
Best wishes,
Joshua
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Dear Joshua,
I'm still having the strangest time dealing with this Jesus thing. It's actually scary to think about this. I mean, I didn't do anything to really deserve this. What should I do?
Regards,
Mary.
--
Hey Mary,
Settle down. You have found favor with the Lord. You don't know that your cousin Elizabeth is pregnant as well with John the Baptist and she was considered barren. Whats worse is that Zechariah, her husband, can't talk until this happens. It's okay, you have nothing to be afraid of. You will be the mother of the Christ. The Christ who will save his people from sin.
Best wishes,
Joshua
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Dear Joshua,
You mean to tell me that he's going to do all this?! I think you're crazy... But then again, you may not be... I just found out that you were right! Zechariah can't talk! Why did he not believe the angel that came from heaven! That's very strange of him not to believe these things! He's more than capable as a priest but this... I find seriously odd... Do you think he'll gain his speech back.
Regards,
Mary.
--
Hey Mary,
Yeah, he'll get his speech back once he names him John. It's all temporary of course. Zechariah was just frightened by what happened. He's got nothing to fear. As for you, just go about your business, and look forward to birthing the Christ Child.
Best wishes,
Joshua
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Dear Joshua,
ZECHARIAH CAN TALK AGAIN! How can I ever thank you... Wait a minute! How did you know he would get his speech back!? Are you psychic!? Everyone said that we should name him after his father but Elizabeth pressed the issue that his name was going to be John. People questioned that decision because no one in her family was named John. Zechariah... all he did was write on a tablet that said: "His name is John" and that was it! He spoke! Isn't this great!? But as for me, I'm trudging on and still scared about birthing what could be the most important piece of human history... Is it ok to be frightened?
Regards,
Mary.
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Hey Mary,
No I'm not psychic, I just read the bible, the most powerful book on the planet. Look, Elizabeth was ignoring everyone's calls for him to be named something other than John, she was following what Gabriel said. Zechariah spoke because he began believing again. He had his doubts because of his wife's age.
Look Mary, you shouldn't be frightened at all. Yes you are carrying the piece of human history and yes, it is a big deal... I hope Joseph is doing well and taking care of you. I heard the Roman Governors called a census and you better be getting back to Bethlehem where Joseph was born.
Best Wishes,
Joshua
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Dear Joshua,
We're on our way to Bethlehem and Joseph keeps asking who I am writing to. I keep telling him a friend of mine... Man, I am tired, my feet hurt, what's next..
Regards,
Mary.
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Hey Mary,
You'll know on December 25th, when we praise his holy name.
Best Wishes,
Joshua
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Thank you Mary... and we'll dip into that mailbag again soon!
~ Joshua
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